Saturday, January 08, 2011

me want to go to there

There are a few things that make Ken and I work as a married couple. Not that we always do, but mostly we work. I think one of the biggest is that we are both fairly reasonable people. Neither of us seem to get too far gone into our own shit to see the value of the other person's view, or feelings or, argument. The other is that we both rely on humor to deal with things. And in this situation that is a good thing, eases tension and the like. Because I know that all you couples know what it's like to be told what to do by your significant other. It's not that fun. Poor Ken has me as his OT, PT, and everything else. It is a hard thing.

For the record, I know most of you reading this blog think I am a saint. But here's the thing, most of you reading this blog don't live with me. And those of you (Ken, Wyatt and Gus) who do live with me know I can be quite grumpy, and loud, and bitchy. Ken is rarely loud, but he can be the other two. What I am saying is this: despite the fact that we are well, human, and married, we are doing alright so far, with reasonableness and humor as our weapons of choice. It tends to make the arguments rather tame when your goal is "I will out reasonable him", or "I will make her laugh". I don't want to sugar coat things, this is the hardest, hardest thing. We are both physically and mentally ass whooped. BUT, as Ken and I agreed today, we do want to choose to learn something from the experience and, gasp, maybe become better humans. Maybe this will finally inspire me to start my non-profit: PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF EVERYTHING, or PETE for short.

I think Ken's job is much harder than mine. Having to rely on people for so much is not an easy, or dignified feeling/thing to go through. But he is dealing with it very graciously, patiently. It is humbling for me, much of the time (I ought to say that to his face). I am trying hard to be calm and gracious as well. To remember to love him and the boys with what I do, not just my words. It is a battle at times. But me want to go to there.

P.S. Me want to go to there is from the show 30 Rock, in case anyone was awonderin'.


  1. Jamie, for the record, I've never thought you were a saint. :)
    -Nancy B.

  2. That's exactly what I said to her! :) Just a human with an extraordinary amount of grace. Shines right-out-yo' face it does, ass whooped though you are. For the record, I'm trying mightily, and failing, it feels like daily, to remember to breathe out BEFORE I snap and say something I'll regret. Sigh. Good luck to us all!
    --love, Amy