Wednesday, October 06, 2010

A marriage proposal, and a bear

Today Ken asked me to marry him. I am wearing his engagement ring, have been since he had to take off his rings for surgery. So there I was sitting with him and he felt the ring. He kept trying to take it off. And I kept saying, "honey, you cant wear it yet your hand is still swollen". But he kept pulling at it, so finally I gave it to him. He started to try to put it back on. I said, "are you asking me to marry you?". Thumbs up, I kissed him and kissed him and said yes. If anyone can beat that as a marriage proposal, I don't know who it is. He told the speech pathologist his name, where he is, who I am and counted from one to ten. He is very, very Ken. He wrote to ask what day it was, we told him it was Wednesday and he wrote "cougar town" (an ABC show). And he insisted on using his itough to surf the web. Luckily his (and my) lovely friend Jamie came by and helped us figure out how to help him do that. He was making a big effort to do it himself, but he still can't open his eyes (I had to hold them open) and doesn't quite have the fine motor skills yet. But we help him look up the cinematographer for Scott Pilgrim v. The World because he just had to know if he'd also done The Matrix. He had. It was Bill Pope by the way.

He gave Tess the middle finger per request.

He also made a joke about Nancy Grace having as affair with a bear, you had to be there. But he made himself laugh a wonderful sight. I admire him so much. His grace and strength right now astound me.


To everyone who's commenting PLEASE put your first and lest initial in the comment. We are reading him the comments but many of them are coming up anonymous.


Who wrote the comment about visualizing his left side moving and checking his skin? Thank you!

Goodnight, everyone. Please keep writing, he loves hearing it.


  1. Love you, Ken!!! Love you, Jamie!!! I am so deeply happy to hear that Ken is communicating and recovering...keep it up, you two!

  2. That's awesome!!! Keep it up, Ken!! You're going through a lot of s--t, but you're gonna be fine. Mucho love to ya, buddy. Lisa L.

  3. Dammit! I missed Cougartown?! I thought it was on Mondays; here I was gonna check it out on Ken's recommendation . . . I'll do better next week, Ken, I promise!

    And as for you, it sounds like you are already doing better and better. What an amazing and wonderful relief to read about. Thank you for keeping up your end of the bargain, Ken, and sticking with us just like you promised. And while you're at it, a fine job, choosing Jamie to marry, an excellent choice!!

    The book that's waiting for you, Jamie, (at Tess & Doug's) encourages lots and lots of sleep as one of the body's best ways to heal--and I'll bet it was that Tess who knew so much about skin and PT!!

    Thanks for all the great news!
    much love,
    Amy K.

  4. So glad to hear Ken's progress. We are all pulling
    For him. He is so lucky to have you in his life. I went
    To West Essex with Ken and receive many phone
    Calls regarding how he is progressing. Please let
    Him know that all of our thoughts and prayers are
    With him.
    Laurie Gordon

  5. Jamie, thanks so much for keeping us up to date on Ken's progress -- knowing that he's asking for his iPod Touch (to look up movie stuff, natch) made me smile and possibly even giggle a bit. Be sure to tell him that Sue D. and I went to see Scott Pilgrim on his recommendation and we both really enjoyed its Kenicity and Shapironess. Love you guys. DanW.

  6. My heart is nearly bursting with joy over this update! So much so that I went back and read all the previous posts, because I just couldn't believe how far Ken had come in the past week. And though Wednesdays are "America's Next Top Model" night for me, I think I will have to check out "Cougartown" as well...
    I do think that's the sweetest marriage proposal that I've ever heard of, and though I'm sure you don't need any reason to give Ken more kisses, please give him one fom me. I love you guys so much! ♥

  7. This is fantastic! Sorry about Cougartown though, there are so few things on on a Wednesday. No matter. I'm so glad things are looking up. Love you all lots! -Tony

  8. The Collom family is very happy to hear of this progress! Keep it going Ken, we're thinking of you--Ed

  9. Oh this is just fantastic! Happy happy, joy joy!
    Ken- I am wearing my Pinkie Tuskadero outfit today, in honor of you!!! :) DB

  10. Can't wait to find out what he can do today. Tell him Daisy and Tallulah will be thinking of him in Austin.

  11. I think I'm feeling a collective sigh of relief from the universe this morning!!!! This is fantasitic news! So many people have been wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying for you, Ken. If you're laughing, we will all laugh with you! Keep fighting, and know that this blog is getting more hits than you can count. Your wife has done an amazing job keeping us all updated, especially for someone who admitted in her first entry that she hates blogs! She is amazing, you're amazing, and we will all keep virtually checking on you (so fitting!). Is it too soon for SharePoint jokes about threaded conversation? Much love -
    Rachel C.

  12. Yes, yes, and yes. What a wonderful word yes is. So much healing in so short a time. Strength, you both have it in amounts I can't measure. Love, again, unmeasurable.
    Heather (Joel, Jason, Tony, Shane, and Jill's friend in Deer Isle)

  13. Great news... Of course reading everything I can find on strokes...

    Here are some interesting links:

    Keep thumb wrestling the left side... Good for the ego.

  14. Wow! Ken's progress is amazing! Tell him I'm heading to Austin today with Cohen and I'll do my best to keep her out of trouble.
    The adventures of Daisy and Tallulah Part 2...
    Love you, Maddie

  15. This is the best thing I've read all week. Sending all my positive energy your way.

    Teresa Androkitis

  16. Jamie and Ken: Superfantastic news!! I'm so, so happy for your great news. Hoping today brings you even more happiness.

    Ken: I have accepted your passion for Cougar Town and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - don't make me come down there and have words over my gal Nancy Grace!!! Valerie W

  17. To J, Bil (who is Ken), and all those who have posted... THANK YOU. I sit in the background, waiting, waiting, hoping, and too, overwhelmed by your responses, by the love and generosity you've all shown to my sister, our family, and my brother in law--Kenneth.

    So, yes, it is the sister who finally writes. J and I never had a brother, and to us, to me, Ken is more than precious. He is and has been, always, a gift unmeasured. I don't know if it was his wit, his love for Jamie, his fierce competitive nature that roared in the midst of Dominos, or if it was his soft, soft eyes that held such deep kindness, curiosity... a quirky dark humor. But he had me. First time I met him, he had me.

    Believe it or not, we were walking through knee-deep snow in the dusky Maine woods. I didn't know then that this was not a Ken thing to do. He never said a word. Or rather, he said words, but not about the walk, rather, about Jamie, about what he wanted for her, how he wanted to be with her, for her. He was walking behind me, telling me, promising me, with night closing in all around us, that he would take care of Jamie. That he wanted to. That he could. And how.

    What bravery to declare not only your love, but your intentions to someone you barely know. It was then I fell a little in love. And tucked him into my heart. And these past few weeks, that heart has tugged and pushed and beat and thrashed its want to make Ken whole and better and strong.

    And now I see, through these posts and visits, that he is that same brave, generous, quirky, immeasurably strong person always and again.

    I want the world for him, for J and the boys. I want it all. I wish every night on every star I can see for this... or small miracles, or anything that will make this journey easier for them.

    And your support, your posts, your recommendations, your research and your HUGE, HUGE love are the miracles. Miracles I hadn't thought to ask for. But I believe they hold in them the most powerful of intentions, they are the ones sinking in, the ones inspiring the most change and the ones that will hold Ken in his recovery.

    So THANK YOU all. For everything. Thumbs up and marriage proposals, "incontinent" (sp?), and middle fingers, thumb wrestling (on his left side) and ipod searches are all good signs... wish for more. Wish for it all. And keep sending your good thoughts.

    Much love,
    Jen (Sil)

  18. Ha! This one made me laugh - snort, even, when I got to the part about Ken making himself laugh. Yea, you can take away his beard (among a lot of other things), but you can't take his sense of humor. Or his love for all things entertaining - and being able to amuse himself. I can hear him chuckling even as I write. And, of course, he would keep the TV schedule stored in those memory cells. DMWilk and I were actually debating what he would want first - the clicker or the Internet. Turns out he actually wanted a pen. Our great communicator. Looking forward to more amusing tales. As well as the great inventions and ideas that his brain is cooking up while he's living inside himself. Love to you both as well as to Kenny's family. sueD

    BTW, that marriage proposal beats the bathtub story hands down.

  19. Hey It's Kudisan, Jennifer's friend who broke her ankle a few years ago and ended up hanging out at your house! Anyway,I am so elated to read the blog and hear that you are moving forward in your recovery. I felt in my spirit that you would do so. Awesome!!! Yes, whomever suggested the visualization was right on point with that! Visualize it to the point of feeling a "knowing in your heart". I'm a strong believer in this also. I send hugs and kisses to you and Jamie. I know that I don't see you very often and that our time spent has been short, but the quality of impact on my life is beautiful and I feel love for you and you family everyday. Continue in your strength and determination.

    Much love,

    Kudisan Kai

  20. Did you tell Kenny I tried to watch Cougartown? I really did. I just don't get it. But I'll keep trying. I love you both. And Jen had never told me about that walk in the woods. Selfish girl to hold that to herself until now. And please tell the Shapiros no more crass requests or comments from me: I really am a nice girl, just trying to elicit a smile from Ken, and sometimes the vulgar and rude do make him smile. But I'll have done with that now. Much love, THDM. Can't wait to hear what's next. I'll have to call D while I'm at work because I actually broke work rules and went online the other night for about two minutes and broke out in a cold sweat because I was breaking company policy by being online for personal reasons. Can't do that again. It was way too stressful. And D sends his love, too, of course.

  21. Dear Ken and Jamie,
    Ken...I always knew you were a super romantic... I bet he had that whole ring thing planned out! Mr. Smooth. You're just lucky you didn't have to fight any of Jamie's evil ex-boyfriends. :) I am so happy for you Ken. Your doing it! you have gone through more than most of us ever will in our life times, and you are making your way back to french toast, Cougartown and lumberjack donuts at an amazing speed. I can't wait until we can all get together again and look back on parts of this and laugh. All of us miss you and continue to have all of you in our thoughts throughout each day. Tonight Jill and I are going to see some African music at King Middle School. To both of you I say, that you are a miracle of what a relationship can be, and that love and kindness inspires us all. Take care...and remember, The Office is on tonight. :)

  22. Dougie just found this ee poem on Stumble. Thought it seemed appropriate for Ken and J: i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
    my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
    i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
    by only me is your doing, my darling)
    i fear
    no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
    no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
    and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
    and whatever a sun will always sing is you

    here is the deepest secret nobody knows
    (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
    and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
    higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
    and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

    i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

  23. Link was cut off:

  24. Alright, you are making me get all misty eyed here at work which isn't doing much for my he-man image. I'm so glad to hear that you are making great process. -chuck mccall

  25. Ken,
    You are a legend in West Essex history. Everyone remembers you very fondly and admires you. I'm sure the entire class is praying for your speedy and full recovery. Nothing short of that will due. Your wife, your kids and society need you. You are an exceptional person. I always admired and respected you. I'm looking forward to seeing you at the 25 year reunion. Get better soon. God is with you. We all love you.

    Dan P-Class of 1988

  26. Yes. Wonderful. Crying happily for all of you.

  27. Hey

    I wanted to ask...

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    Does he say one thing and do another?


    Saying he's going to call...but then????

    Crazy huh?

    If you have a few minutes, I'd like to introduce you to Bob.

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    And I love the part where he talks about "The #1

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