Saturday, October 02, 2010

The bad news is . . .

The bad news is that we know he had a stroke. We don't know how big, or what it will affect, how much it will affect. There is still a lot of swelling so the dr's are having a hard time distinguishing between that and what is stroke damage. He is not moving his left side or opening his eyes.

But he rubbed my hand with his finger when his mom told him it was my birthday. And, yes, I am crying as I write this. He is still responding briskly to commands on his right side. His heart is looking better and better. They think he'll need to be in ICU for the rest of the week, but hopefully they can take out the breathing tube soon.

I was doing okay with all this, then I called my house to talk to Wyatt and Gus. My mom didn't answer so the voicemail came on with his voice. That was it, ladies and gents. I just bent over and cried. I miss him. And though I really do know that I am not alone in all this, I just want him.

The other news is that we spotted a woman smaller than my very petite mother in law Sara, which is quite rare. If I'd had a camera I might have tried to sneak a photo, for proof to show the skeptics.

Squeeze the ones you love.


  1. Dear Jamie,
    That's really good news about the heart. I know that Ken is a strong person and he will recover from whatever obstacle the stroke has given him. With love from such a wonderful family as he has, there is no doubt that he will come back to you. I know that Jill, Phoebe and I want to send you a huge bear hug like squeeze and let you know we love you. Please call us any time to talk, cry or swear. You and Ken are constantly in our thoughts.

  2. Know that we love you all and are thinking of you, wishing there was some way we could, I think we'll do some swearing for you. In between the good thoughts and the prayers and the sending of good Karma/chi etc. we'll so some swearing.
    -Nancy B.

  3. It's great to know he can hear you, he knows you are there, knows we are here pulling for him. That has to be good medicine.


  4. Jamie, my dad had a stroke when he was 38 and had a complete recovery, fast too, it seemed to me (I think I was in middle school at the time). Ken is getting stronger, the things that you say, about his heart and the breathing tube possibly coming out soon, even that he may only be in ICU for the rest of the week (I know, "only" is still forever in the way you're measuring time now) all of these are positive, life affirming, Ken-is-coming signs. That is how I read them. Ken is doing just what he told us he'd be doing, fighting hard on the inside. I am so awed by your strength and strengthened by his. My heart aches for the strain yours is under.

  5. I'm going to focus on all of the positive signs Ken is giving us that he is fighting right through this! I love that he can hear you and that he is responding. Perhaps not as much as we all hope for, but responding nonetheless! That is WONDERFUL news. He'll get through this! I just know it! Keep strong and be sure to get some rest. *hugs*
    -Anna S.

  6. I love you. I read this last night before I went to bed. Each time I woke (as you slept I hope) I told you and Ken I loved you, said a prayer and sent you energy. I know I said you are one of the strongest people I know. I do not expect you to be strong in all of this though. That is why we are all here for you. That is why we will continue to be here for you.

  7. Continuing to send prayers, healing thoughts and positive energy to envelop dear Ken, his incredibly strong Jamie, their boys, and their (clearly wonderful) families. You have touched so many, and we are all keeping you in our hearts.
    - Danielle B

  8. Jamie, Dan and I thought a lot about you and Ken last night. We toasted you both and then went out to see Scott Pilgrim vs The World. Very Ken. Very you. And I squeezed Dan. Virtual squeezes to you both. Glad to hear that Ken is hearing you and squeezing your finger too. (well, technically rubbing, but squeezing just fit better with the poetry here). I know he's working on that recovery... step by step. I want you home with him soon. Take care, Sue

  9. Jamie. Thank you for having the strength to take care of us through the updates as you take care of Ken.