Saturday, October 02, 2010


I have been thinking a lot about brains, obviously. Mine is being very kind in some ways. I haven't had any dreams about Ken. I think that would be the worst, if I had to wake up from a dream in which he was, well, in which he was him. And then have to remember this thing is happening. Like a punch in the stomach.

I also want to say how much I love Ken's family. His mother Sara, father Michael, sister Lisa, and brother Jeff. They are, like Ken, truly good and kind people. I don't know what I would do without them right now, to lean on and cry with. And how much I love my family. My mom who is taking care of the kids and house, my sister who has canceled her teaching classes to be here. And my dad who is up north hobbling around and swearing for his daughter and her family.

That's what I want to do right now. Not the hobbling part, but the swearing. I am so angry that this is happening to my kids, and Ken. My lovely, lovely Ken. And, I mean seriously, three times I have to live through this? But then I have to remember that he's still here, and breathing, and thumbs upping briskly. And I have to remember to hope that things will only get better from here. Today, for my birthday, I wish for another stable day. Well, you all know what I'm really wishing for . . .


  1. Happy Birthday, Jamie! May you get everything you wish for and more. I wish I was there still to give you a hug. You are an amazing woman. Ken is so lucky to have you as we all are.
    Tell him I love him and am thinking about him all the time.

  2. I am hoping you get your birthday wish. And I must tell you that you are amazing, beautiful (and you are not allowed to fight me on that!!!), loving, kind, considerate of others (even when you are in this place),did I mention how beautiful I think you are (and I mean that and Ken would give us the thumbs up on that) and your level of commitment to those around you makes you who you are. The person we all love. The person that Ken loves. The person that Wyatt and Gus love. Happy Birthday my friend. If this has to be your third time through this let it be with all the love you have been giving to us over the years coming back to you to fill you in your time of need. I love you

  3. I have heard that day three after a surgical procedure is the worst and that is behind you now. So, your birthday will be a good one. It WILL get better from here.
    Thank you for all the information. Everyone back here (at work) is checking numerous times a day for the next update and calling each other when one arrives. We are all still sending positive thoughts for both you and Ken. You have been very strong through this - I admire you for it. Ken is a lucky man to have you – but I know you both know that.
    Wishing you both the greatest day yet!
    Sharon D.

  4. I've been handling my portion of the swearing. I find (pardon me) that dear Jesus f#*king christ please! Works best. Covers all the angles. Birthdays are a celebration of life. Your life has brought so much happiness to Ken. You are carrying him with your strength and light and love. Something we are celebrating today. Here's to another day together.

  5. I hope that on this most difficult of birthdays you get the best gift of all, Jamie.
    love, Amy

  6. For your birthday I'd like to make everything right in your world. I wish I could. But thank goodness he is stable and the kids are with your mom and you are such an amazing and strong woman. I wish I could give you a watermelon birthday cake to share with all of your loved ones.
    I wish so much that I could give you a big hug right now. Soon.

  7. Hey Jimmy: Don't feel bad about being angry, as this stinkity stink stink stinks. I myself could kill everything in sight I'm so pissed about it - yes, that burning tire smell is the wrath of me. Know this - whatever you guys need (even if it's to be left alone, even if it's cleaning the toilet). anytime. I love you and Ken and you know it. Kristen

  8. Happy Happy Birthday Jamie,
    I hope that you've been able to celebrate it even with shaven Ken not looking or acting like Ken. It is your Day of Life, after all...and Ken and us (or should that actually be we?) are so glad that you are living this life! I hope that you get your wish and more... Now get out there and swear up a storm!
    Thinking of you in Seattle,
    heart heart or however Joel does it...